How to Make Better Decisions Using 3 Skills

Article

Jun 17

As a leader, we often rely on logical reasoning to weigh the advantages and disadvantages of a potential course of action. Some decisions, however, cannot be made purely based on logical reasoning. Often, there is also an emotional aspect to our decision-making process. If we want to learn how to make better decisions not only for ourselves but also for our employees, customers, and the organization at large, it is essential that we learn how to balance our reason with our emotions. In this article, we cover three emotional intelligence skills to help you learn how to make better decisions.

The Role Of Emotional Intelligence In The Decision-Making Process

Emotions play a large role in our decisions, even when we don’t realize it. Think about the big choices you’ve made in your life (finding a place to live, taking a career leap, making a major purchase like a home or car, etc.). How did you approach making those decisions? When looking at any big choice you’ve made in your life, you are likely able to distill three particular emotional intelligence skills that you used to come to a decision. The three skills are:

Problem Solving: Ability to find solutions when emotions play a role. Understanding how these emotions impact decision-making.
Reality Testing: Capacity to remain objective and see where emotions and bias affect objectivity.
Impulse Control: Ability to resist the urge to take action or speak out.

Below are a few tips on how to develop these skills so you can learn how to make better decisions - both big and small.

Problem Solving:

Decide how to decide. Meet with the people involved and decide what you want the decision-making process to look like. What information needs to be gathered? Does the decision require input from other stakeholders? Is it one decision or multiple layers of decisions? What is the timing? If you are the sole decision-maker, run your process by someone you trust to ensure you’ve covered your bases.
Clear the air. When emotions are involved, embrace them instead of pushing them away. Especially when it comes to your team, allow the space for them to raise any concerns before moving ahead. Not only will your team feel heard, but they may share ideas that address the situation.
Review the instant replay. Consider a time when you effectively solved a problem. How did you do it? What learning can you apply from that situation to your current one?

Reality Testing:

Feel all the feels. Emotions can show up in unsuspecting places and decisions. Include them as additional data points, but don’t give them any extra weight. Include objective information as well.
Assume you’re wrong. We all can get clouded by emotions and bias at times. Oftentimes, it’s unconscious. Ask someone with a different perspective to point out what you may be missing. A simple request such as “Show me where I’m wrong,” can open the doors to missing information and even the solution.
Don’t be an optimist. Those rose-colored glasses might seem great at the time, but they may cause you to miss critical information. Look for gaps and obstacles so that you can plan ahead and successfully overcome them.

Impulse Control:

Count to five. If you’re prone to blurt out ideas in meetings or interrupt in conversations, count to five. Better yet, take five deep breaths before saying what you were about to say. If your idea is as brilliant and relevant as you think it is, those five seconds will only help solidify it.
Hit the pause button. Stop before you take action or reply to an email to ask yourself a couple of questions. Do you have the information you need
Have you considered the impact of your actions a month or year down the road?
Don’t be afraid to act or speak up. Sometimes the reverse is true. If you don’t typically feel comfortable speaking up in meetings or a specific situation shuts you down, get clear on what you want to express. Jot down your talking points in advance so you’re prepared when you speak.

Emotional skills are key to learning how to make better decisions, especially when those decisions involve emotions. When we’re clear on our values, we can more easily align our decision, and when we’re confident, we can find new solutions or take the risks necessary to create what we most desire in our lives. We invite you to pick one emotional skill that you are going to focus your attention on in the upcoming days. Keep track of what changes you notice when applying one of these emotional skills to your decision-making process. What impact does it have on the quality of your decisions?

About the Author

Lead True Certified Coach Melissa Thornley operates at the intersection of left brain and right brain. She has years of experience leading creative teams in Chicago, New York, and London specializing in emotional intelligence and instinctive working styles.

She works with coaching clients - from emerging leaders to those leading high impact teams - on a variety of topics including self compassion, leading from empathy, and the power of positive neuroplasticity. Regardless of the format of Melissa’s coaching, she maintains a foundation of collaboration and customization for each client.