How to Detach your Productivity from Your Self-Worth

Well-being practices are essential to being an effective leader. It's from that balanced, centered place that we make the wisest, most creative, intuitive, and effective decisions. 

Yet as professional women, we often find ourselves in a constant battle between being productive and taking care of ourselves.

More often than not, being productive seems to win this battle. We keep ourselves productive with thoughts like: “Just one more thing …” or “When I have done X, I can rest." Strengthening the idea that taking care of ourselves is a reward that can only be obtained after we have accomplished something. 

How can we detach our productivity from our self-worth? That is a question I have been pondering for quite some time now.

Changing the paradigm: “What we accomplish does not determine our worth”

Opting out from the ‘always busy’ culture requires us to detach our self-worth from our productivity so we can start to prioritize spending time on things that matter to us. Things that feed us, rather than feed from us without feeling guilty about it.

Changing this paradigm goes far beyond implementing the self-care tips we get presented everyday via blogs and social media. Yes we probably do need daily reminders to take care of ourselves but the fundamental change starts with a paradigm shift in the way we evaluate our self-worth. We have to ‘openly change our minds’ about the ingrained belief that our self-worth is directly correlated with what we do and have. On a community level this starts with changing the way we talk about our being. Start acknowledging each other more for who we are being as opposed to praising each other for what we have accomplished.

Step away from the idea that your self-worth is conditional

On an individual level, it requires us to step away from the idea that our self-worth is conditional: I have to do X, Y and Z in order to feel worthy. Instead, start from a place of being enough and acknowledging our self-worth regardless of what we do or have or do not do or don’t have.

Embracing the knowing that it is always possible to come back to yourself with the truth: that you are worthy based on nothing more than your existence. You don’t have to accomplish anything to deserve rest or acceptance. You’re already worthy. 

What role can you as a leader play?

The process of untangling our inherent worth as a human being from how productive we are,  is not going to be an easy process and certainly not a one-time event. It is a constant process of unlearning what we have been taught for many years. A process that requires us to co-create new systems that allow for new, more sustainable, ways of working and living. 

As a leader, you can play an important role in this process by providing safety for yourself and the people around you by holding space for the discomfort that arises when we move beyond the old narrative. Because the reality is that you may get off track at times. You will get triggered as it is hard to change beliefs and actions that go against what you have been conditioned to believe.  But if we continue to keep this conversation going and keep each other accountable, we can make work and life work again, in a sustainable way.

What thoughts are coming up for you? Comment below to share your thoughts on this blog post.