Engage People's Hearts

By Amy Riley

70% of engagement is attributed to the leader, according to Gallup (Randall Beck and Jim Harter, Gallup Business Journal, April 21, 2015). As a leader, you are the biggest factor determining whether those around you are fully dedicated to the work, or not.

Leaders need the commitment, the ideas, the passion and the work of others to make big ideas come to life. How do you get that kind of commitment from others? How do you get others fully engaged? To accomplish extraordinary results, you will need to have both the heads and the hearts of others engaged.

The big idea and the strategies associated with that big idea need to make sense in people’s heads. You want a compelling and clear message.

Most leaders, with some hard work, feedback from multiple stakeholders and many iterations, can get the compelling and clear message crafted and engage organizational members’ heads. Yet, our job as leaders is not finished there. Not if we want true engagement.

I find that most often the trickier part is getting employees’ hearts engaged, to have them feel emotion and passion about what they’re involved in. It proves challenging to many leaders, yet there’s a single secret: You show vulnerability.

There are many ways to show vulnerability. See some common ways in the list below.

Ways to Show Vulnerability

• Saying what you don’t know

• Saying where you need help

• Being transparent

• Asking and allowing others to contribute

• Asking and allowing others to change your mind

• Sharing about yourself, your personal story

• Admitting mistakes

• Trusting others with key deliverables

• Trusting others to lead

Rate yourself 1 to 10 on the vulnerability behaviors.

Then, choose 1 behavior to play with, amp up, and/or do more often. I’d suggest picking the item you rated the highest. This will be the fastest route to strengthening engagement.

Finally, write down specific ideas about how to further engage in this way to show vulnerability.

Showing vulnerability does increase engagement, Yet, it’s not about engaging in these behaviors without purpose or intentionality. You do want to have a valid reason for doing so. It’s not about showing up one day to the office and sharing your most embarrassing childhood moments and most recent family dramas with anyone who will listen. Now, if you have a team member nervously preparing for a presentation in front of the company’s largest division, then maybe you share your embarrassing Third Grade moment about fainting during speech class. You’re sharing and showing vulnerability to empathize and communicate that your 8-year-old-self survived and you’re here to support the team member in the ways he most needs.

Showing vulnerability works and neuroscience can prove it.

I’m fascinated by what neuroscience is teaching us: Release chemicals in their brains, if you want team members to truly care.

There are 2 chemicals that are released in the brain that have us feel valued, give us a sense of belonging and inspire us to want to work for the good of the team/project.

Serotonin is released in our system when we feel proud, the approval of others, supported and/or respected. When we feel lifted up by our leaders, serotonin strengthens our sense of responsibility to offer something in return. As a leader, the more you give of yourself to help others succeed, the greater your value to the group and the more respect, dedication and passion they’ll have.

It’s not hard to get serotonin flowing, it just takes intentionality and commitment. Say, “Thank you,” share in a team meeting how each person contributed to the team’s recent success, ask questions to help an overwhelmed colleague prioritize her work, give him the chance to present his work in front of a larger audience. (Some of these might not even take much vulnerability on your part!)

An Engineering Manager, Marcus, who I worked with throughout a leadership development program for seasoned managers, recognized that he was not creating many serotonin-releasing moments with his team. He decided he would start sharing how each team worker brought value to the specific projects and tasks he or she completed. Marcus made a commitment to himself – and me – to share this with 2 employees each week. He put these 2 weekly actions in his calendar.

After 2 months, team members began to acknowledge each other’s contributions, often using the same words that Marcus had used. This was an incredible confidence boost for Marcus because he had previously believed he wasn’t any good at acknowledging and praising others.

When Marcus’ team members saw more clearly how and where they provided value, they got new ideas about how they could provide more of that same or similar value. Their department’s reputation improved. They sang each others’ praises to the rest of the organization.

The Engineering team self-organized around their individual strengths and within 6 months, engineering designs were being completed in 75% of time it previously took.

The examples of how you can release serotonin in others through your leadership are endless. That’s why serotonin is often referred to as the leadership chemical. And, it feels good to everyone involved.

The second chemical is oxytocin. It’s often called the love chemical. Oxytocin creates the feeling we have when we are with close friends and loved ones. It helps us be generous, want to do things for others and stay connected. It helps team members feel comradery and safety with one another. The more a leader does to create an environment of openness and connection, the more oxytocin flows. As a leader, you can ask how employees are feeling; really listen carefully to their responses; show empathy; share how you’re feeling; and get to know people and their interests, concerns, struggles and passions.

Todd Hauptli, the President and CEO of AAAE (American Association of Airport Executives), has a number of intentional ways that he connects with the AAAE team. Here are 2 examples.

• In every all-staff meeting Todd includes a 5-minute gratitude section during which team members share examples of others going above and beyond to help a member of the organization or another team member.

• Todd listens and intentionally remembers the interests and passions of the team members. One graphic designer on the team is a huge Taylor Swift fan. One day on the drive in, Todd heard on the radio that it was Taylor Swift’s birthday. So, at a team meeting he asked, “Who knows whose birthday it is today?” And, oxytocin was flowing for a certain graphic designer!

Both serotonin and oxytocin are long-lasting chemicals, get built up over time and feel great. Every leader can create moments, processes and structures that allow serotonin and oxytocin to be released. It just takes some vulnerability.

Determine the most important and genuine ways for you to show vulnerability based on your authentic leadership and leadership priorities. Intentionally choosing how to show vulnerability can feel over-engineered to some, yet it’s a path to sincere displays of vulnerability. Your chances of coming across real and genuine increase when the activities are aligned with who you are as a leader and what you are most passionate about. The process of being intentional also provides a focused commitment for yourself. 

The effort and focus on showing vulnerability is well worth it. It’s the secret to engaging people’s hearts and getting true commitment.