5 Ways to Be Confident in the Face of Self Doubt
Professional women continue to get mixed messages these days. The Confidence Gap seems to show that we are missing out on opportunities because we are less confident and willing to take risks than our male colleagues. At the same time, many of us have a deep inner desire to be authentic and lead our lives and careers with integrity. Sometimes our admission of lack of experience or doubt is just an expression of honesty, not an unwillingness to try.
We are confused by what it means to be confident. Does it mean hiding our flaws? Does it mean being the first to speak up? Does it mean keeping a brave face in the workplace but being anxiety-ridden at home? No, nobody would say that any of these would be a victory.
However, confidence and true leadership can look many ways. The blend is unique to you. Personally, I like to practice a quiet confidence that aligns with my academic background, introverted tendencies and inclusive values. Like anyone, I often have doubts, yet for me confidence is having those doubts and taking action anyway, in a way that reflects my inner strength.
Here are my recommendations on how to be confident, even when you have doubts:
Trust your instincts. You have a vision of where you want to go, and you have good instincts. If you feel intuitively like you should go for a position that is beyond your current years of experience, trust your instincts. If you feel like the culture of a new company you are interviewing with is not right for you, trust your instincts. You can follow your intuition with confidence, even if you are unclear where it is leading you.
Know you can change your mind. Often we feel like we have to know how everything will end, and we have to find the perfect answer for all time. It can be freeing and confidence-building to remember that you are always learning and growing. If you get in over your head or find yourself in a situation that you don't like, you can change your mind, your job, your industry, your hometown. This does not mean you made a mistake. It's a part of your journey.
Be confident in your core abilities. You have innate strengths that are consistent and reliable. Perhaps you always have new ideas, solve problems creatively, write beautifully, manage others well or build relationships. You can rely on these core strengths in every situation, even if it's a new role, job, industry or problem. You can learn the specifics for the new opportunity, but you bring something golden that is uniquely you.
Be confident in your values. Just like you have core strengths, you have inner values. These are the principles you stand for and demonstrate in how you lead your career and your life. Perhaps you value integrity, humor, creativity, generosity, truth or adventure. When you use your values to help you make choices, you are authentic, even while learning and growing.
Practice and prepare with a trusted colleague, mentor or friend. Finally, when you are making a choice, preparing for a presentation or going to an interview, call someone trusted. Share your doubts (which aren't true) and practice how to be both truthful and confident while going for what you want. You will be ready.
About The Author
Franciska Dekker is a systems thinker, both a pragmatic person and idealist. She is an expert in leadership development, personal strategy, executive coaching, women’s leadership and leadership development through travel experiences …
