Don't Just Change. Transform.
By The Tiara Collective
During leadership training and leadership development programs, you learn skills needed to manage, direct, communicate, network, influence, and more. These capabilities are essential to have in your leadership skill set; yet there are times when we face recurring patterns or longterm struggles, either in pursuing our own goals or in our leadership efforts. In these situations, we long for transformation. We want to make whatever change is necessary so that a new result is possible.
Transformation is difficult to achieve on our own, especially when we get stuck in our own internal dialogue. Repeated patterns and persistent challenges are often rooted in belief systems, thought patterns, habits, and other behavioral elements that are beyond our view. Yet we still believe that transformation is possible in small and significant ways. As a Tiara community, we want to share with you 5 ways you can spark transformation and restore your belief in possibility.
Train Your Brain
It’s necessary for our brains to use mindsets, paradigms, and beliefs to quickly sort through, prioritize, and act on all the situations that we face each day. When we know our favorite ice cream flavor is mint chocolate chip, we can make a quick decision for dessert. When we know that we prefer small towns over cities, we can filter our travel destinations. Yet several of our mindsets are unconscious, developed in pivotal moments of time, created to defend ourselves against a perceived threat. However, some of these beliefs will conflict with your current goals. For example, if you believe, “I’m not a good speaker” or “I always have more to learn,” we can avoid growing into our potential. Transformation takes place when you diligently look at beliefs you hold that conflict with your goals. When you train your brain to focus on an upgraded belief like, “I deliver well-prepared presentations” or “I believe in what I present” you intentionally spark an action or a success where there would otherwise be self-doubt.
Make A Commitment
Once we have clarity on the direction we want to grow, and we have ensured that our belief systems are in line with the desired outcome, we need to make a commitment. Not a New Year’s Resolution, a wish, or a hope; but a deep internal commitment, a line in the sand, that you are going in a new direction. We have all experienced these turning points during our lives. Sometimes they come from duress, because we have hit rock bottom and can take it no more. This happens when you are bullied for the last time, feel beaten for the last time, taken advantage for the last time, or burnt yourself out for the last time. You internally respond with an irrefutable, unapologetic, “No more!” When this happens, we know we are determined to make a change. Commitment can also happen when we make an inner shift motivated by a new compelling vision which we are determined to move toward no matter what.
Get Support
When you have a fresh point of view and a commitment to a change, sometimes it clicks into place in an instant, with no looking back. We all have heard stories of people who just quit smoking or moved to California with swift resolution and no backsliding. We believe this is possible, and we love it when this happens. This is the result of what we call Alignment. However, sometimes it takes a little longer for transformation to take root and grow into an entirely new outcome. One strategy that works is to be supported by community. Share the commitment and goal with others. This might be one person who you know will provide you the support you need, or it might be your group of friends or your team at work. The support might also be with someone more formal like a mentor, manager, or coach.
Practice Over Time
Now it’s time to move, methodically, in the direction of your new reality with discipline and determination. Step by step, day by day. It takes time for the brain to create a new groove in line with the new beliefs. It takes time for your environment and your habits to make a systemic shift to the new pattern. It takes diligence and discipline to keep your brain focused on where you are making progress than getting distracted by doubts and setbacks.
Be Kind To Yourself
During this transformational process, be kind and compassionate with yourself, especially if it’s in an area where you’ve struggled for a long time. It can be emotionally challenging to motivate yourself to keep going, to try again, to admit defeat, and to start over. Yet having the courage to repeat each of these steps as many times as needed in order to breakthrough into a new reality is the only way to remain hopeful and to be proud of how you’ve chosen to lead your life, time and time again.
Because, as we said, it is challenging to transform yourself, here are some of our favorite resources:
Leadership And Self Deception by The Arbinger Institute
The Work by Byron Katie
Theory U by Otto Sharmer
Shakti Leadership by Nilima Bhat and Raj Sisodia
YODTUM offered by Andrea Henning, trained by Firmament
Atomic Habits by James Clear
